The strobe light hurt his eyes.
“You’re okay though Luke? Yeah?”
He nodded. What good would shaking his head do?
He heard what he thought were the electrics in the strobe ticking on and off. Tic toc. Or was it the sound of a hi hat? Tic Toc Tic. Was it the music? Was this the hard rock they usually play in here on a tic toc? Or the strobe? Tic. Toc. Tic Tic Tic Tic
“It’s fucking banging this mate.”
He nodded. Maybe. Maybe he nodded. Maybe. Maybe not.
The walls breathed. The doors stretched.
“I’m going outside mate.” He said.
His mate said something. Said something. Walls breath. Doors stretch.
Tic toc tic toc
The cold blast of air was a slap in the tic toc.
At the back of the club car park was a large tree. Luke bounced off the cars as he headed for it. The branches reached over. They didn’t look welcoming but Luke didn’t know where else to go. He slumped against the thick, rough wood. His shirt ruffled up as he slid down the bark and he felt the wood cut into his skin. Tic toc.
The cars parked in rows swam against each other. The waves in the tarmac rose and fell. Luke felt a bubble, opened his mouth and puked down his arm.
“Luke!”
He watched the vomit on his arm sway. Watched it tic toc.
“Luke!” “Fucking Banging Mate.” “Banging.” “Luke.” “Fucking Banging Mate.” “Banging.” “Banging.”
“Luke!”
In front of Luke stood God. It didn’t look like God. It looked like a Goth Girl but Luke knew it was God. God is God. God could be anyone. Why not a Goth Girl who looks lost on the car park of a rock club?
“You look wasted mate,” said God. Her hair was corpse straight and bobbed slightly as she spoke.
Luke nodded once then stopped moving his head as he felt the vomit rise.
“Do you need a glass of water or anything?”
Luke nodded then realised nodding wasn’t the right answer so held his hand up to stop her. “Hang on.” The words dropped out of his mouth and skipped along the waves in the tarmac. “I’m alright.”
“You don’t look alright.”
“No.” He tried to stand and gave up.
Next to God stood Satan. Satan was dressed like a doorman in the club but Luke could tell it was Satan. Satan is Satan. Satan could be anyone. Why not a dickless doorman who exhales anger on the car park of a rock club? His muscles were strapped into his suit like someone had wrapped bowling balls in a cheap cotton bag. His pasty white bald head and scowl screamed hard right politics and a bit of queer bashing. “What you fucking had mate? What you taken?”
“It’s okay, I’m dealing with it” said God, matter of factly.
“Yeah whatever love. Come on, fuck off out the way.”
God stood in front of Satan. “No, I’ll deal with it. I’m a qualified nurse.”
“Are you now, love. Well, I’m qualified with dealing with cunts like this. Nar shift ya hole.” Satan barged past her and slapped Luke. “Oi, soppy bollocks. What you had? Where’d you get it from? Was it that nonce in there?” He pointed back towards the club with a stabby right hand.
Luke felt the revulsion off Satan like it was the vomit on his shirt and wanted to get out of there. He wanted God to hold him. He tried to pick himself up but the waves of nausea rose up and mirrored the waves on the car park. He felt his stomach turn again. Heard those tic tocs. The rainbow of vomit poured out of his mouth. Satan jumped backwards as it just missed his shoes.
“You dirty fucking cunt,” shouted Satan and threw out a quick jab which caught Luke in the mouth. The pain exploded out in colours and he felt like his front teeth had grown out by a foot. He tipped over and lay on the soil next to the tree. The branches reaching over him swayed and twisted and knotted and grew and reached for him. More nausea wrapped around him and he closed his eyes. Tic toc.
“What did you do that for?”
“50 fucking quid these bastard shoes cost.”
“You were ripped off.”
God walked over to Luke. “What did you take? Was it mushrooms or acid?”
Luke made an “aaaa” sound but that was more from the pain still rattling around his mouth.
God turned him over. “You need to lie on your front. You don’t want to be choke on your own vomit.”
“Fucking shift, Florence” said Satan trying to barge past.
“No, I’ll deal with it. I saw him first.”
Luke felt the soil on his face. It felt cool and soft. He opened his eyes to see Satan jabbing a finger at God.
“You probably gid him that fucking shit in the first place. Just to get him in this state so you can play the Good fucking Samaritan. I know your game.”
“Oh don’t talk stupid.”
“You fucking calling me stupid?”
“No. I’m calling you cruel.”
“Damn fucking right I’m cruel. Cunts like this need to be taken down a peg or two.”
“Plays right into your hands, doesn’t it? Kicking em when they’re down.”
Satan pushed God’s shoulder and God jumped up. “You wanna do this? You wanna do this here?”
Satan smiled. “I’m fucking ready to dance if yow am.”
As God and Satan moved onto the carpark eyeing each other up the waves in the tarmac started bubbling. The bubbles popped and released steam in the air. Cars started crashing into each other as they slid out of the way and into the corner of the car park. Their metal and plastic twisting and melting into each other. Tic toc.
God and Satan stood in the centre of the now cleared car park.
“I’ll give yow a free shot love,” said Satan.
She looked at him. “No, I’ll give yow a free shot.”
Satan threw a vicious right hand which God ducked. As they surfed the waves in the tarmac smoke twisted around them and fire seemed ready to erupt in the air. God stepped forward and stamped hard on his shoes. He gave out a scream and threw another punch. She dodged that and stamped again. The leather in the shoes split.
“Me fucking shoes.” He threw out a back hand which caught her sharp on the side of the face. He fired out a left hand which caught her on the other side and drew blood just below her eye. The bruising started rising on her face but she saw the next punch and moved away. Her kick was sharp and quick and right into the front of the Satan’s shin. The fabric on his trousers ripped and he screamed. He hopped backwards but she launched a kick into the other shin.
He dropped and she pounced on top of him and threw punch after punch towards his face. He twisted and somehow ended up on top of her. Now it was his turn. He dropped a hammer fist onto the bridge of her nose which hit with such force her head bounced off the floor. He knelt on her chest, screamed and smashed both fists onto her face at the same time. Luke saw the blood on her face as she spit teeth out. He gurgled and spat vomit onto the soil in front of him.
God grabbed at Satan’s hand, wrapped her fingers around his little finger and pulled violently to the side. The finger broke and he screamed again. She grabbed his collar and pulled him towards her driving her forehead into his nose. He fell backwards and she was on him. She grabbed the other hand, broke his other little finger. Used the edge of her hand to chop him in the throat. Then she punched and she didn’t stop. Satan’s face became a mush.
Luke picked himself up so he was on all fours. He retched up more vomit and bile as he watched her pound his face. Then he felt her hands on him.
“Sorry you had to see that.” She grabbed him and held onto him. “You need to close your eyes. It’s the best thing to do while the worst of it passes.” He did. He felt her arms around him and they were like the branches of that tree. She rubbed her hands on his back and he felt the warmth flow through him. “It’ll be okay,” she said. “It’ll be okay.”
He didn’t know how long he sat there rocking in her arms but when he opened his eyes she was gone and he was stood leaning against the wall inside the club. The strobe light stopped flashing and the house lights came up.
“That was fucking banging mate.”
He looked to the side to see his mate chewing gum wildly and looking around.
“You okay Luke?”
“Yeah.” Luke swallowed. “I’ve just seen God and Satan have a fight.”
“What?”
“I’ve just seen God and Satan have a fight on the car park.”
His mate carried on chewing and shook his head. “Cool. Who won?”
“God did.” Luke picked himself up off the wall and faced his mate. “She kicked his arse.”
“She? Cool.”
Along with everyone else they stumbled out of the club. They walked down the road towards home. Behind them, on the car park, a group of people stood around. All trying to work out why their cars were mangled in a heap in one corner.